Unconditional Love

What's love meant to be?

Can it be defined?

Well, it used to be between family and the ones that I like a lot.

That's until I was introduced to this two words - unconditional love.

Though what it meant was pretty obvious but I still asked the question, 'What the hell does that mean?'

I found the answer to that which is loving someone without any conditions. But it is still not easy to be practised.

Let me share an experience of mine. The word love is a habit pattern to me for many years since young. But I only knew about unconditional love a few years back. Though I thought proudly that I'll be able to practise it, I came to understand quite a bit lately that it takes more effort to get the hang of it.

I was a little, who am I kidding, very emotional when I thought a particular close friend of mine didn't care about me. In my mind, I assumed that that person did not like me and did not want to spend time with me. I was on tears when I was expressing this to my boyfriend. I guess I was very emo at that time.

But he made me laugh by saying, "Does that mean if your friend doesn't want to spend time with you, you are going to cry?" I laughed at his question. It made me look very childish.

What he said next stunned me. "That means you don't have unconditional love for your friend."

He added, "What if your friend tells you that she is no longer interested in you and would like to end the relationship? What would you do?"

At that moment, my mind was quick to answer, 'That could never happen, I'm sure.'

But later I realised, that's a wrong way to think.

If we really love someone unconditionally, whatever choices that makes that person happy, though it is choosing someone else instead of you, should make you feel happy too.

Hours later, I text my mentor, "How can we have unconditional love if emotions exist?"

And I got a reply that got me to understand, as long as we have emotions that keeps going from one corner to the other, we can never have unconditional love.

The key to unconditional love is to be understanding and be happy for that person without attaching any emotions.

Might sound ridiculous, but the idea of reacting to love and responding to unconditional love gets you discovering lots of things about yourself. 

And aren't that the greatest discovery of all?

Opportunity is Always Knocking The Door - Part 2

It turned out to be an awesome day!

And yes, we did get approved to visit the online radio station. It was a little unexpected but I was overjoyed the moment I stepped foot into the station. 

We were greeted well by the DJ's of DurianASEAN. They did ask us the reason for our visit. I contemplated whether I should answer that question or not. But decided to be truthful and told them that ET Ideas is planning to start its own online radio station and wanted to gain some exposure through this visit to DurianASEAN.

We were first brought into their soundproof studio where they broadcast all their shows. They were really patient with us as they explained all the equipments involved throughout the process of producing a good online radio show. From the mixer, the mic, the soundproof room, laptops, softwares to other gadgets involved combined with their skills, it was indeed an experiential learning for us.

We even got the chance to do some recording using their devices, where we introduced ET Ideas and ended with "This is DurianASEAN - The Voice Of Discovery". That was the coolest thing ever because it gave me a glimpse of being spontaneous during talk shows.

Excited with this new experience, we moved on to another studio that is in the Malay medium. We got introduced to the graphic designer and photographer/videographer. They are the men behind the videos that DurianASEAN produces on any particular issue.

We then sat down with the DJ's as Q&A session took place. 

We asked so many questions about their experience as an online radio DJ that even their guest speaker for their talk show arrived. The visit ended with a photograph of us with the DJ's and we said our 'thank you's before leaving the place. 

The best part is our aim was still achieved as the DJ's themselves gave us ideas on how we can come out with our own online radio, instead of taking us as a competitor like most people do.

With that said, isn't opportunity always there? It's whether we are ready to grab it or not.

Opportunity Is Always Knocking The Door - Part 1

I had a chat with a friend of mine who said, “People think we don’t get opportunities but actually the opportunities are always out there”.

If it was a few years ago, I would have totally disagreed with that statement, saying, “People are just lucky to get good opportunities in their life”.

But with things changed over the years, meeting new people with different perspective of life and taking certain actions towards building my own career, has changed the way I think as well.

So here was I trying to figure out as an intern how I can research the task given to me about online radio when my colleague tells me, “Hey, you know what? I know someone who has an online radio station. Maybe you can drop them a visit and get to know things better”.

I was pretty excited when I heard this. ‘This could be an awesome opportunity for my research! And I’ve never been to a radio station before. This is going to be great!', I thought to myself.

Though it took me sometime to call up the founder of the online radio station (due to not feeling well), I managed to explain to him about my intern company and the reason for our visit. He seemed a bit confused with my explanation. I guess not many people calls up a company asking if they can pay them a visit to explore their field of work. Maybe that or me and my intern company are just crazy.

At the end of our conversation, the founder of the online radio station requested an email stating the purpose of our visit before he can consider our proposal. I told him I will send the email and we ended our call.

However, after that conversation, I felt that my visit to the online radio station would be harder than expected. In my mind, I thought if people were to request a lot of things before approving something, it means they do not trust us and the proposal is going to be rejected.

I spoke to my boss about this, who also happens to be my mentor, and he told me to proceed with the email under the company, ET Ideas.

So, I drafted the email and asked my colleague’s favor to look through it in case of any mistakes. (Thanks to her, the email sounded much better. :) )

And so, I sent the email to the Founder of DurianASEAN.

Was the email approved? Did we visit DurianASEAN? That’s something you are about to find out on Part 2!

The Ripple Effect

So, I woke up one morning and I find all the most littlest things ticking me off. Like literally getting into my nerves.

'Just yesterday, things were fine. What is going on today?', I thought to myself.

Going on and off with my mode swings as if I have PMS, I tried to get myself together.

As I was getting a little calmer, things just had to pop up to stir my emotions once again.

Someone text me asking if I can help her out with something. It's actually basic simple stuffs that I know I can do.

But I was feeling sleepy at that moment, which in turned became cranky and because the way she asked for my help was something I was not happy with, I turned into full rage.

I replied her,

"Ur annoying me... I want to sleep for a while... is it possible to ask some1 else?"

After I replied her that, I felt better. I felt so proud of myself because my mentor said we need to express ourselves and be truthful. So, it felt great to be truthful.

Until I spoke to my mentor that very same day and bang! I was soooo wrong.

It is true that I should express myself at the moment and be truthful but I forgot to use something very important before doing both of that - which is to use SIEP.

According to him, if I had used SIEP, my reply would be totally different. I would have replied something like this for an instance,

"To be truthful, I'm not very happy in helping you as that is part of your job. But I will help out this time. Hopefully, this will not happen again."

Huge difference from my previous reply, right?

That's when guiltiness came by as I realise, I am not so wise with my words... yet. And to make things worst, that person's mood was horrible that day, it just added more to my guiltiness.

And something else hit me too. It became more apparent to me about my mentor's explanation in his book - THE SEVEN BASIC LAWS OF NATURE about the Law of Cause and Effect where every thoughts, words and actions produce a ripple effect to you and everyone else thoughts, words and actions. And it just continues from that one single thing.

Isn't this a very familiar scenario that occurs in most of our lives? We say something because we are clouded with certain emotions and the next thing we know - relationships are broken, friends stop talking to each other and people say they're moving on without clearing things out between them.

If you're asking for a solution, there's one I can give - SIEP. But the truth is, all of us already know what we can do to make things better.

By the way, here's what I did after sending out my negative ripple effect. At that very same day, an hour later when that person was a bit calm, I called her to a corner intending to speak to her.

The very first thing I told her was, "Can I hug you?"

As I hugged her, I apologised for reacting to her words instead of responding. I explained to her what my mentor explained to me about the whole scenario. And apologised a few more times and told her, "It was a lesson for me for not using SIEP".

I'm not perfect which means I may not get everything right. But sometimes, these kind of lessons come by to knock your head and say, 'Hey! You better be practising whatever you learn... Or Nature is gonna come and kick your butt!' LOL !!!

Seeking Attention?

It often occurs to me, 'What does it feels like to get all the attention that was once focused on me, slowly drifting away and being focused on someone else instead?'

How would that actually make you feel?

Well, I experienced a tiny bit of it a few days ago. Being guided by my mentor from scratch tends to make me depend on him for almost every thing. I get the attention from my mentor regarding my business and how I can make my things better.

But it felt a little bit different when the attention was thrown to another person  who was new and needed my mentor's guidance. It felt like I was ignored and not needed in their conversation. And... the attention to me was reduced.

So... what do I do? Do I throw tantrums like a kid? Or do I do all it takes to get back the attention which I've lost for just... a few minutes ago?

You see, even my above questions doesn't make any sense. That's what I got out of doing SIEP continuously - that my thoughts makes no sense at all!

*A quick one on SIEP. In any situation, whether good or bad, SIEP should be practiced.

S - Accept the situation with the understanding that Nature is trying to teach us something

I - Asking, 'What am I supposed to learn from this?', humbly

E - Emotions would be calmer as lessons matter more than anything else

P - Instead of looking at other people's mistake, you would rather want to correct yourself

After doing SIEP, I did what I could do best at that moment. Being happy that another person is having the chance to grow as how I was given the chance to grow before (and still am growing).

It also reminded me of the Law of Energy Returns Back To Source from The Seven Basic Laws Of Nature book that speaks about 'what goes around comes around'.

And though it has only been a few days, I can already see a lot of changes from the person through the guidance of my mentor. With all this happening, how can I even think about jealously and wanting attention.

Instead, I'd rather repeat my goals and continue with my work while feeling happy that there's someone else who's also growing in terms of Spirit, Intellect, Emotion and Physical.

The Fallen Wardrobe (Part 2)

Ever heard of the term, "Ask and you shall receive"? That is so damn true!

Remember that I asked this question, 'What am I supposed to learn from this?' from the whole fallen wardrobe situation?

I actually got the answer!

You see, different parts of the wardrobe needs to combine in order to form a complete wardrobe. But when it falls, everything just separates from one another. 

Let's start with the hanger railing in the wardrobe. The hanger railing was so confident that it could carry so much weight, that it became the main reason the wardrobe fell.

That is because of EGO! In the point of human being, when think that WE made things happen without appreciating the people who taught us (like a leader or mentor) or the base that gave us stability (Nature), we would definitely fall. 

The base of the wardrobe represents the base of everything. To think that we are mightier than Nature when everything is the workings of Nature, is just ego. And that's why we fall.

Also I find that the topper part of the wardrobe was detached too. And I realised it represented the person who guides us. For an example, when we fall and no longer focus on the lessons to be learnt, the person who guides us will eventually move away too.

But... realising this is no point if we can't find ways to put things back to how it was. 

So, as long as we respect Nature and go with its flow, we can build our self up and someone will be there to guide us.

And that actually starts with 

1. Setting a GOAL,

2. Repeating your GOAL, and

3. Working on your GOAL

Just to mention, the other lesson that I learnt from the fallen wardrobe scenario was to NEVER, I mean NEVER leave your Identity Card and driver's license in your jeans pocket, in your wardrobe and leave home. 

And what does that lead you to - A Fallen Wardrobe!

The Fallen Wardrobe (Part 1)

I'm going to make this into 2 Parts of the story cause it can be too long for a single post.

So, this is what happened.

A week back, my wardrobe toppled over my bed. It's not a wooden wardrobe. It's literally like the below picture of a wardrobe.

It used to be a fine wardrobe. But because I moved it around, something happened to its stability and it keeps toppling down. However, after a period of time, it was so stable, I thought things would forever remain that way.

Until, it toppled over AGAIN and I got super frustrated. 

It toppled over and I stared at the situation blankly, not knowing what to do. After a while, I moved on to do my other stuffs without bothering to fix it or put my clothes back. 

But I did do something else for sure. I did SIEP. 

*A quick one on SIEP. In any situation, whether good or bad, we should do SIEP (something that I learnt and still am learning from my mentor).

S - Accept the situation with understanding that Nature is trying to teach us something

I - Asking, 'What am I supposed to learn from this?', humbly

E - Emotions would be calmer as lessons matter more than anything else

P - Instead of looking at people's mistake, you would rather want to correct yourself

So, coming back to my story, though I asked the question, 'What am I supposed to learn from this?', I still took time to get my emotions calm. And when I was calmer and able to think straight, something magical happened!